Mass Effect 2: Shepard's Angels
by LawbringerSR2-ML
Summary: Romance/Comedy/Action/Adventure, all following the general story line of Mass Effect 2 with just some added twists, more dialogue, more drama, more talking about Miranda's ass, more Liara's freaky eye tentacle action, more bosh'tet's, more calibrating, and most importantly more "We'll bang, ok?"


My body is heavily sucked into deep space, not the way I'd like to be sucked either. My chest starts to tighten and its getting harder to breathe. The temperature starts to feel like I'm being flayed alive and everything is getting heavier. Next thing I know I'm staring into the black abyss of space and the remains of The Normandy that was just blown to pieces, then everything goes dark.

 **"C'mon Liara"** I tease as my hands motion to the bed.

"Shepard...I, er...We have work to do, and we cant just spend them making love while the Alliance pays for us to be out here searching for Geth."

"Making love? I'm not too fond of that line. I'm more into boning, banging, porking, stuffing, anything, just not love making."

Liara smirks as she rolls her eyes at his ridiculous opinion. "C'mon Shepard." She retorts, then throws my clothes at me. I put them on with a slight attitude for obvious reasons.

"A quicky?" I smile and await an answer.

"A what?"

"Forget it..." I dismay while Liara looks at me with confusion.

I cant tell if that's just a human term or shes just too pure, I'm leaning with too pure because...lets be honest, its Liara we are talking about here. I get dressed and run over to the elevator and we both go to the CIC where we resume our search for the Geth. Liara returns to her duties as I head to the front of the ship and talk to Joker.

"Hows it hanging Joker?"

"Low blow Commander...Hows the blue balls from the blue goddess? Hey, now that you think about it, I wonder if that's the Asari's true purpose, to give all men bluer balls than their skin tone." He jokes.

"Do you want a dick punch?"

"Do you want to punch me in the dick?"

"Do you want to punch me in the dick...?"

"Do you want to punch me in the dick, Commander?"

"Better, and yeah...I do, but talking about it is starting to sound a bit gay so I'll have to pass."

"I presume you didn't come over here to slander me, what do you need Commander?"

"Just a status update is all."

"Ok, no sign of Geth activity yet." Jokers claims as Presley walks into the cockpit.

"We are wasting our time, four days running up and down this sector and we haven't found any type of Geth activity." Presley complains.

"Three ships went missing in the past month, something happened to them." Joker adds.

"My moneys on slavers, terminus system is crawling with them." Presley counters.

"Picking up something on the long range scanner. Unidentified vessel, looks like a cruiser." A co-pilot informs.

"Doesn't match any known signatures." Joker ponders while searching for information.

"Cruiser is changing course, now at intercept trajectory." The co-pilot says.

"Can't be...stealth systems are engaged. Theres no way a Geth ship could possibly get..." Presley starts.

"It's not the Geth...brace for evasive maneuvers!" Joker engages into a fight, not flight mode. The unknown vessel fires a laser beam stronger than we've ever seen at the Normandy, Joker does his best to avoid critical damage, however we get hit and Presley and the co-pilot strike out.

"Kinetic barriers down, multiple hole breaches, weapons offline, somebody get that fire out!" Joker orders. The vessel strikes again, this time being three times worse. The Normandy struggles to stay up. I grab my gear from my locker and Liara comes running behind me in a matter of seconds. People screaming for their lives frantically scurrying around looking for safety...only safety is to get the fuck off the Normandy.

"Shepard!" Liara yells.

"Distress beacon is ready for launch."

"Will the Alliance get here in time?" She questions with uncertainty.

"They damn well better, get everyone onto the escape shuttles." I demand.

"Jokers still in the cockpit, he won't evacuate, I'm not leaving either."

"Get to the damn shuttle, I'll haul Jokers crippled ass outta here." I grab hold of her shoulders and push her away from me and towards the shuttles.

"Shepard..." Liaras voice begging for me not to make this decision, but its already been decided. I can hear the fear in her voice. Good thing I'm wearing a helmet so she doesn't have to see the pain in my eyes.

"Liara, go...now." I order trying to uphold my professionalism as her commander, but in reality I can't be anymore hurt by the fact that I'm ordering the woman I love to leave me, but its all for the best. She hesitates for a moment, then slowly backs up and is gone. I get to the cockpit as fast as I can to find Joker still fighting for the Normandy.

"C'mon Joker, we've got to get out of here."

"No! I wont abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!"

"The Normandy is dead, we will be too if we don't get the fuck off this ship. I don't know about you, but this captain ain't going down with the ship."

"I just have to...Oh shit...They're coming around for another attack!" Hit again, I quickly grab Joker's arm and yank him out of his chair.

"Ow, watch the arm!" He complains as I carry him into the shuttle. The laser hits hard and I stumble out of the shuttle, I look over to see the launch button and just barely push it with my index finger.

"Shepard!" Joker yells as the shuttle doors close and launch him away from the crumbling ship. Due to the low gravity and the ship being half gone, I start to float away. One more laser and it makes something blow up throwing me into the black abyss of space and staring into the remains of The Normandy that was just blown to pieces, then everything goes dark.


End file.
